Friday, February 15, 2019

Week 5 Story: The Forsaken One


In a time when dragons were rare and powerful creatures, they ruled the land from the skies while humans worshipped them as gods. There was one dragon in particular that was said to the oldest and most powerful of all of the dragons - it was called Xiphos. The humans, including a young lass and her mother, all looked to Xiphos as their main god, and they relied on it to protect them from foreign invaders and their foreign gods.

Naturally, the humans offered up many valuables and sustenance to Xiphos in order to appease him. Xiphos, however, grew tired of the same offerings, and it began asking for the things that the humans held dearest to their hearts. Needless to say, the humans were hesitant, some were even unable to, provide Xiphos with the offerings it demanded. Xiphos, enraged by the lack of precious offerings, roared its displeasure, and it condemned the foolish humans to a life without the protection of their one true protector.

Word soon spread that Xiphos abandoned his human domain, much to the dismay of the locals. May thought that it was only a matter of time before foreigners heard about the abandonment and decided to take the rich lands for themselves.

It was about four weeks after Xiphos’ departure that the young lass overheard a conversation at the local bar. The men inside despairingly discussed the news that the foreign army had assembled and was on its way to take everything from the now god-less lands. All of the people wept and wailed, for now they were truly doomed. Many began to pack up and attempt to get as far away as possible with the hopes of relocating to new lands. Others tried to pray to Xiphos for protection and offer it what they could, but it was clear to all that Xiphos had forsaken them.

The lass could not afford to move her ailing mother. She also had nothing to offer Xiphos to entice him to return. However, the one thing the girl did possess was an incredible determination to protect her family and her people.

As the days passed, the foreign army grew closer and the girl attempted to find a solution to her problem. Many others, mainly the elders and the children, could not afford to move or were simply unable to. She refused to leave them like the others had.

It was that night that the girl had a dream. In the dream, she remembered the tales her father used to tell her about the dragon gods and how they possessed such immense power. Each dragon god had a name bestowed upon them by some greater power. The name granted the dragons their awe-inspiring power, but they were also kept a secret. Only the dragon knew its true name. There was a rumor that dragons were honorable creatures, even if their personalities were terrible, so if a brave warrior defeated one, then that dragon would be forced to give the warrior its true name. By learning the dragon god’s true name, that warrior would acquire that god’s incredible power. Of course, this was all a rumor as no one had been able to defeat or let along entertain the thought of challenging a dragon.

As soon as her father finished speaking, the girl woke with a start. She knew what she had to do in order to defend those dear to her.

Sword. Source: pxhere.

Author's note: This is loosely based on "Secret Name of Ra". I pretty much changed everything else but kept the main idea the same. In this story, the main god is a dragon, and, like Ra, it has a given name that is the source of its power.

Bibliography: This story is part of the Ancient Egyptian Unit and can be found here. Story source: Egyptian Myth and Legend by Donald Mackenzie (1907).

5 comments:

  1. HI Bianca!
    I always love having the opportunity to read your stories! Your writing style is very different from mine but I think you are so incredibly talented and a great storyteller. As always, I love that you try and keep the stories as close to the actual original story. I think staying true to the original work and only changing minor details is great way of capturing the original essence of the story. I know that this story is a little different then the original but you still managed to keep the original idea and message of the story and it worked so well! Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey Bianca! Great story. I like how you left the reader wanting more. With the added picture of the sword at the end of the story, I was intrigued to see where the main protagonist would take the story. Keep writing more like this!

    -Lance J.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow that was very cool. I really enjoyed the mysteriousness of the dragons and the fantasy elements. Will there be a part 2 any time soon? I'm looking forward to reading more of this story!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hey Bianca,

    This was such a great story, You are so good at engaging your reader and keeping them interested as the story unfolds. I was hooked the entire time. You have such a great writing style. Everything flows so nicely. Your author’s note was also very helpful to your readers. Overall, great job and I look forward to reading more.

    -Andy

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi Bianca!
    You did a great job ending this story with a cliffhanger - we can imagine that it will turn out well, but we don't really know... I also really liked how you gave some context at the beginning about who the dragons are and what the town is like. I found myself wondering what the dragons desired that was dearer to the humans than what they had been giving them before? I would have loved to see a little more visual detail.

    ReplyDelete